Misconception or not, it happens to be the premise of “The Special Section,” my all-time favorite episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm : Larry learns that his newly deceased mother can’t be buried in a regular plot in the Jewish cemetery because she had a tattoo on her butt.) In Leviticus 19:28 it is written: “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves.” What’s not true is the notion that you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery with them. (It’s true, by the way-the Torah forbids tattoos. Back and forth I went-first imagining my parents feeling wounded, upset and angry with me, then countering those thoughts by reminding myself I was 47. But my non-mom status didn’t deter me from the mental gymnastics involved in taking on my parents’ presumed viewpoints. I do not have first-hand knowledge of what it’s like to have your baby, your first baby, alter one of her limbs irreversibly with a variety of body art your age group still associates with tough guys and outlaws, and which is forbidden by your religion. (You might consider playing “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof on the turntable in your mind through this part of the story.) In the hours before my tattoo appointment, I couldn’t stop putting myself in their (theoretical) shoes. One therapist described me as “a radio receiver for other people’s feelings,” with a woeful inability to determine whose emotions I was experiencing when other people’s wants and needs got thrown into the mix. This entailed a fair amount of projection, but as an empath, I was already a pro at taking on other people’s emotions and points of view, or what I imagined them to be. I wasn’t just debating with myself, but with my parents and other relatives, dead and alive, too-all in my head. Brian is kind and incredibly patient with me when I get caught up in this kind of endless, circuitous back-and-forth of should-I-shouldn’t-I?. As we sat on the lawn, he entertained all my rhetorical questions from every side of the argument. Mind you, I was carrying on about this and crying out loud. But as with many experiences I didn’t feel I had permission to try, I seemed to believe I’d only be justified in enjoying it if I first put myself through a fair amount of suffering. Deep down I knew I’d go through with the appointment that I’d set up weeks in advance. That fall afternoon in 2012, my husband, Brian, sat with me on the lawn in Tompkins Square Park and listened to me spin out, tearfully debating with myself whether I was prepared to permanently alter my right forearm. There was also my concern for how my parents might feel. Those deeply ingrained dictates, plus my aversion to pain, nearly put the kibosh on my plan. These “rules” overtook my mind October 1, 2012, the day before my 47th birthday, as I prepared to walk into East Side Ink on Avenue B in Manhattan-but I didn’t let them stop me from sitting down in the chair, extending my arm, and getting my first of what has now grown in number, at this writing, to three tattoos. And according to everything I learned about women and aging, we’re not supposed to get inked when we’re much too old to be considered “girls,” or even young women. According to everything I learned growing up, nice Jewish girls aren’t supposed to get them. This quote is reminding you that you get what you make of any situation.I had something of a mental breakdown in the hours before getting my first tattoo. I’m always looking towards the next step and what else is there instead of appreciating what’s in front of me. I relate with her more than any other princess. My absolute favorite Disney comfort movie. As a dreamer myself I cried when I read this in the book □ □ □ the first one is from a court of mist and fury the book by Sarah J Maas. My first one - a quote from something that means a lot to me. My plan tomorrow is 4 new tattoos, yes, 4. I’d love to do a tattoo tour… but I’d like to do it after I get my new ones tomorrow so for now, HELP ME DECIDE THE PLACEMENT!!!! Ok my next few posts will all be tattoo related becauseeee I’ve got a 4 hour appointment TOMORROW to fit in as many as we can □□
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